


some gays hang out together: the movie

by mermaybelle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, F/F, Kankri Vantas (Mentioned) - Freeform, Kurloz Makara (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Meenah Peixes (mentioned) - Freeform, Minor Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Minor Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas, Multi, Trans Dave Strider, dave is suicidal, it gets better though, jane freaks out over a joke but its emotional, theres a party, vriska hates the chainsmokers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 15:28:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10699839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaybelle/pseuds/mermaybelle
Summary: some gays hang out online and have fun and also theres a party





	1. calliope is just really pure and cute and i love her

gardenGnostic [GG] created the group chat "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added ectoBiologist [EB] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added tentacleTherapist [TT] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added turntechGodhead [TG] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added gutsyGumshoe [GG] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added tipsyGnostalgic [TG] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added timaeusTestified [TT] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added golgothasTerror [GT] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added apocalypseArisen [AA] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added adiosToreador [AT] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added twinArmageddons [TA] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added carcinoGeneticist [CG] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added arsenicCatnip [AC] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added gallowsCalibrator [GC] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added arachnidsGrip [AG] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added centaursTesticle [CT] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added terminallyCapricious [TC] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added caligulasAquarium [CA] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added cuttlefishCuller [CC] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added uranianUmbra [UU] to "funtimes!!"  
gardenGnostic [GG] added undyingUmbrage [uu] to "funtimes!!"  
EB: aw man why'd you add caliborn?  
uu: SHuT uP.  
GG: i wanted to include everyone!!  
TT: You didn't include the dancestors.  
CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK WE NEED KANKRI VANTAS INVOLVED IN THIS?  
GA: He Doesnt Have A Handle I Dont Think He Can  
CG: GOOD.  
TG: wait so why does this exist  
AG: I would actually like Meenah Peixes to 8e here.  
GG: i was bored :/  
CC: 38D  
CG: REALLY, VRISKA? SHE BLEW UP HER FRIENDS.  
GA: Nice Phrasing  
CG: IS THAT SARCASM?  
GA: No  
GA: You Couldve Phrased It A Different Way And It Would Have Sounded Very Inappropriate  
CG: HOW?  
TG: oh my god  
EB: she blew her friends? up?  
TG: OH MY GOD JOHN  
TG: hahahahaha  
AG: I would gladly 8low Meenah Peixes :::;)  
CG: OH  
GC: WHY 4R3 W3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH1S  
UU: there's nothing else to do!  
TA: can giirl2 even blow giirl2  
TA: ii2nt iit called 2omethiing el2e  
TA: liike  
TA: eatiing  
TG: eating out yeah  
GG: Can we stop talking about this?  
TG: why  
TG: are you embarrassed because you always eat roxy out  
GG: What?  
TG: lmfao  
TG: she does that right  
TG: yeah  
GG: WHAT?  
GT: OH MY GOD  
TG: does she really  
GG: Can we?  
GG: Stop?  
TG: eat each other out  
TG: oh  
TG: no we cant stop  
GG: Jade, can you remove Dave and Roxy from the chat?  
TG: what did i do lmao  
GG: no!!  
GG: i wanna include everyone  
TG: jane it feels like youre freaking out over a joke  
GG: Ugh.  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
TG: hey callie youve been pretty quiet about this  
TG: do u have any evidence abt me and janes relationship  
UU: yoU two do seem to like each other a lot!  
TG: hahahahaha  
CA: this is really entertainin  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
AG: Hey J8de, why'd you add Gamzee?  
AG: Was he really needed?  
GG: i said i wanted to include everyone!  
GG: stop asking me why i added people!!  
GG: i added everyone i could  
TC: AnYwAy, DoN't YoU wAnT mE hErE?  
TC: :0)  
AG: Jesus Christ.  
uranianUmbra [UU] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
CT: D--> Gamzee why did you kill me  
TC: i'Ll Do It AgAiN iF yOu DoN't ShUt ThE fUcK uP.  
CT: D--> Gamzee we're both dead  
CT: D--> We're both in dream bubbles  
AA: a lot of us are!  
CC: 38D  
TA: FE that2 the only thiing youve 2aiid are you ok  
CC: Yea)(!  
CC: T)(e first time was because Vriska mentioned my dancestor, w)(o I totally look up to.  
CC: T)(e second time was because both Aradia and -Equius mentioned dream bubbles, w)(ic)( I convinced the )(orrorterrors to make!  
TA: ok ii gue22 that make2 2en2e  
EB: is anyone excited for the party?  
TT: The party?  
EB: yeah!  
EB: me and jade are throwing a party!  
EB: right jade?  
GG: yeah!!  
GG: everyone is invited  
GG: even the dancestors!  
GG: if any of you come in contact with any of them please invite them!  
AG: I'll invite Meenah.  
AG: Also, is anyone going to invite Kurloz?  
AG: I'm asking 8ecause I don't want him to 8e there.  
AA: i'll try to invite everyone!  
AA: even kurloz.  
AA: but it might be hard because he can't talk and i don't know troll sign language.  
AC: :33< then how are we going to get meulin?  
AC: :33< she's deaf.  
AA: i guess i should learn troll asl?  
EB: also, not EVERYONE needs to come.  
EB: we would encourage it, though.  
AA: i'll go and look!  
apocalypseArisen [AA] logged off of "funtimes!!"

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
GG: Roxy?  
TG: yeah  
GG: I was really uncomfortable with that conversation we had about...  
TG: our relationship?  
GG: Yeah...  
TG: well  
TG: i really do like you.  
TG: and i dont want to sound like a middle schooler  
TG: but i like like you  
TG: not just like you  
TG: like  
TG: LIKE like  
GG: Yeah, I get it.  
GG: And I have the same feelings for you.  
GG: But the way that was presented in front of that many people was...  
GG: Overwhelming to me.  
GG: Like...  
GG: We're not even really dating.  
GG: You really weren't embarrassed with Dave talking about us like that?  
TG: nah  
TG: were cool  
GG: Yeah.  
GG: Which I guess is why I was uncomfortable.  
GG: But then again, if it was John or Jade or Jake...  
TG: even jade??  
GG: Okay, maybe Jade.  
GG: But if it was John or Jake, I think I would still be uncomfortable.  
GG: I guess they wouldn't be very..  
GG: How do I put this.  
GG: Sarcastic about it?  
GG: I mean, you and Dave and Rose and Dirk are all pretty sarcastic people.  
GG: Or...  
GG: Funny?  
GG: I don't know.  
GG: But Dave's "funniness" was inappropriate at that time.  
TG: yeah  
TG: i guess i agree  
TG: i just went with it because i thought it would be okay that everyone found out about  
TG: us.  
GG: Why'd you lie about the...  
GG: The...  
TG: eating out?  
TG: lmao  
GG: Yes.  
TG: well...  
TG: i guess that was okay too?  
TG: or at least i thought it was  
TG: i mean  
TG: do you  
TG: wanna  
GG: No.  
TG: oh  
TG: i was gonna say eat each other out  
GG: I knew that was what you were going to say.  
GG: And I said no.  
GG: But,  
GG: I guess we can...  
GG: Start going out?  
TG: yeah!  
TG: that would be cool  
GG: Would Calliope be OK with it?  
TG: um  
GG: She's kind of cute.  
TG: yeah  
TG: i agree  
TG: lmao  
TG: um  
TG: we could  
TG: have her involved?  
GG: How?  
TG: like  
TG: all three of us  
GG: Oh.  
GG: Is that legal?  
TG: i think so  
TG: does sburb even have law?  
TG: i mean  
TG: of course it has laws abt the game  
TG: but  
GG: No, I don't think this game has laws.  
GG: About relationships, at least.  
GG: Do you want to talk to her?  
TG: yeah i will  
TG: see u  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering uranianUmbra [UU]  
TG: hey callie!  
UU: hello lovely!  
UU: uwu  
TG: :)  
TG: so  
TG: you saw the thing  
TG: um  
TG: yeah you can call it that  
UU: hm?  
TG: the "thing" about me and jane  
UU: oh!  
UU: yes?  
UU: what is blowing?  
TG: oh  
TG: uh  
TG: i forgot your species cant really feel romantic attraction  
TG: or any kind of attraction  
UU: what is it?  
TG: its something sexual  
UU: oh.  
UU: i gUess i won't ask anything else.  
TG: yeah  
TG: good idea  
TG: but  
TG: me and jane talked  
TG: and we decided we DID have feelings for each other  
TG: and also for you  
UU: both of yoU?  
TG: um  
TG: yeah  
TG: see thats a thing that can happen  
UU: what?  
TG: three people in a  
TG: um  
TG: relationship  
TG: so we were thinking  
TG: um  
TG: could you maybe  
TG: like  
TG: hang out with us someday?  
TG: it would be called dating  
UU: oh!  
UU: absolUtely!  
TG: alright!  
TG: ill go talk to jane  
TG: see you!  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering uranianUmbra [UU]

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
TG: she said yes!  
GG: Calliope?  
TG: yeah  
GG: Um...  
GG: To what?  
TG: well  
TG: she said shed go out with us!  
TG: if thats ok w you  
GG: Certainly!  
TG: alright!  
TG: do you think itll be ok to share this with jades chat?  
GG: I think so!  
GG: I'll log on there too.  
TG: alright!  
TG: see you there!  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

CG: AND THATS HOW I FOUND OUT SOLLUX HAD TWO BULGES.  
UU: that was...  
UU: interesting.  
TA: iit actually felt pretty good  
CA: i found out before you  
CA: suck it  
caligulasAquarium [CA] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
caligulasAquarium [CA] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
CA: i wanted to be dramatic  
CA: i failed  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
TG: sup bitches  
UU: oh!  
UU: hello girls.  
TG: alright guys  
TG: big news  
TG: me and jane are dating!  
TG: oh shit really  
TG: yeah!  
TG: um  
turntechGodhead [TG] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
EB: what?  
TG: hes pestering me

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
TG: um  
TG: hey  
TG: hey  
TG: um  
TG: im sorry about that  
TG: eating out thing  
TG: i mean  
TG: im happy for both of you  
TG: but im sorry for making fun of you  
TG: thats fine!  
TG: you should really be apologizing to jane  
TG: she felt really upset about this  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
TG: im sorry  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
GG: What?  
GG >:B

TT: So basically, a fish lady high-fived me.  
TT: I don't know where she came from.  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
TG: ayy  
AG: Dirk, was that Meenah?  
TT: I don't know.  
TT: Possibly?  
TG: wait we talkin about how dirk highfived a troll who tried to kill me  
GT: What?  
TG: yeah  
TG: if so that was meenah  
TG: dirk did you do it while pickin up me and jane  
TT: Yes.  
TG: yeah  
TG: meenah peixes  
AG: I wish she had Trollian.  
AG: She's not home right now.  
AC: :33< where is she?  
AG: I don't know!!!!!!!!  
GA: You Should Know Where Your Girlfriend Is At All Times  
GA: For Example  
GA: Rose Is In Her Bedroom  
TT: I am.  
GA: See  
GA: I Know Where My Girlfriend Is  
AG: Kanaya, you live with Rose.  
AG: That doesn't count!  
AG: Also, you're married. 8ig difference!  
GA: Im In The Bathroom  
AG: I don't need to know that.  
TT: Hey, guys, has anyone seen Dave?  
EB: no.  
GG: He pestered me not too long ago.  
GG: All he said was "im sorry".  
GG: I pestered back, but I haven't gotten a response.  
TG: yeah he was pestering me  
TG: then he stopped and never came back  
TG: i did tell him to apologize to jane for the eating out thing  
TG: because were in a relationship now and all that  
TG: thats probably why he said he was sorry to you jane  
GG: I guess that makes sense, but why didn't he say anything else?  
GG: It was literally just "im sorry" and that was it.  
GG: turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
TG: im sorry  
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
GG: What?  
GG >:B  
GG: I copy-pasted that.  
TT: No one else has seen him?  
TT: Nope.  
TT: Hm.  
TT: Can someone...  
TT: Look for him?  
EB: i can go to his place.  
TT: Please do.  
EB: ok.  
ectoBiologist [EB] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
TT: I think I'm going to try and pester him.  
timaeusTestified [TT] logged off of funtimes!!"

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
TT: Dave?  
TT: Hello?  
TT: Dave, please answer.  
TT: Where are you?  
TG: .  
turntechGodhead [TG] blocked timaeusTestified [TT]

timaeusTestified [TT] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
TT: He blocked me.  
CC: W)(at?  
TT: timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
TT: Dave?  
TT: Hello?  
TT: Dave, please answer.  
TT: Where are you?  
TG: .  
turntechGodhead [TG] blocked timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: Yeah.  
GT: Why?  
TT: I'm not sure.  
TT: Is John at Dave's house yet?  
TT: I'm sure he would update us if he was.  
ectoBiologist [EB] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
AG: Speak of the devil and he appears.  
EB: are you calling me the devil?  
AG: It's a figure of speech.  
AG: Meenah taught it to me.  
CA: agh  
CA: all you landwwellers talkin about your girlfriends  
GT: I have a boyfriend.  
CA: all your fuckin  
CA: significant others  
TT: All of our fucking of our significant others?  
CA: i was usin fuckin as an adjective  
CA: but also yeah  
CA: youre always  
CA: fuckin  
GG: So, what happened to Dave?  
EB: oh yeah!  
EB: i was distracted by our significant other fucking.  
EB: um, but i didnt significant other fuck dave.  
EB: mostly because hes not my significant other.  
EB: also because i am not a homosexual.  
EB: even though dave is trans.  
TT: ...  
TT: Get to the point.  
EB: right.  
EB: he wasnt there.  
TT: Where is he?  
EB: i dont know!  
EB: all i know is he isnt at his house.  
turntechGodhead [TG] logged onto "funtimes!!"  
TG: shut up.  
GG: dave where have you been?  
TG: who cares?  
TT: Where the hell where you?  
TT: I care.  
TG: no you dont.  
TT: Yes I do!  
TT: I was extremely worried!  
TG: i was too dave,,  
TG: liars.  
TG: how?  
TG: im a horrible fucking person.  
GG: dave no youre not!!  
CG: DAVE WHAT'S GOING ON?  
TG: go away.  
GT: If you didn't want to talk to any of us why did you log on?  
TG: i wanted to tell you guys im not dead.  
TG: yet.  
TG: i will be soon.  
TT: What?  
TG: like you care.  
TT: We need to talk privately.  
TG: what? i blocked you.  
TT: Oh, right.  
TT: I was just going to tell you not to kill yourself.  
TG: you cant tell me what to do  
EB: dave where are you?  
TG: what?  
EB: i went to check on you but you weren't there.  
EB: i mean at your house.  
EB: that's where i checked.  
TG: yeah i figured.  
TG: do any of you even care about me?  
GG: i do!  
TT: Dave, you know a lot of us do.  
EB: yeah. i'm sure almost all of us do.  
TT: Do you want the National Suicide Prevention Hotline?  
TG: ugh  
TG: yeah  
TT: 1-800-273-8255  
TT: Get better, Dave.  
TG: thanks rose  
turntechGodhead [TG] logged off of "funtimes!!"  
TT: I was the one to talk Dave out of suicide.  
TT: Or, I helped him.  
TT: Take THAT.  
TT: Was it a contest…?  
GG: now that dave is getting help what do we do now?  
AG: Have you heard that one...  
AG: Is it The Smokers?  
AG: Anyway, they made a song called Closer and I fucking h8 it.  
AG: God. I want it to die.  
GG: theyre called the chainsmokers!  
AG: Yeah, whatever.  
AG: I mean, I've heard some of this Halsey girl's stuff which was pretty good.  
AG: 8ut, that?  
AG: Wow. It's horri8le.  
GT: I agree.  
TT: Did you know only three notes are used in the main melody of most Chainsmokers songs?  
GT: Yeah i think everyone knows that.  
GG: Hey John (or Jade) when does the party start?  
EB: oh!  
GG: um  
GG: in only an hour!  
GG: itll be at johns house.  
CG: HEY JOHN ARE WE GOING TO BE WATCHING YOUR SHITTY MOVIES AT THE PARTY?  
EB: do you want us too?  
CG: FUCK NO.  
EB: then probably.


	2. if feferi ate fish would it be cannibalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get ready for FEFNEP  
> a prologue. party is still coming

turntechGodhead [TG] logged onto "universe c"  
TG: is anyone here?  
TG: uh  
TG: hello?  
TG: i guess it is 4 am you should be asleep  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] logged onto "universe c"  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: oh hey karkat!  
CG: HEY DAVE.  
CG: ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?  
TG: yeah!  
TG: a lot  
TG: if you ever see rose tell her thank you for me if i dont  
CG: I WILL.  
TG: why are you up?  
CG: COULDN'T SLEEP.  
TG: ah.  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] logged onto "universe c"  
TG: ive been eavesdropping  
TG: thats a fun word  
TG: eavesssdroppiingg  
CG: ARE YOU DRUNK?  
TG: im tired  
TG: go back to sleep.  
TG: no  
TG: im waking jane up  
TG: shes loggig on  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] logged onto "universe c"  
GG: Roxy, what the fuck.  
TG: PFFAHAHAHAHA  
TG: SORry i just dont remember you ever saying fuck before  
GG: I'm sure I have.  
undyingUmbrage [uu] logged onto "universe c"  
uu: GuESS WHO?  
uu: NOT YOuR GIRLFRIEND.  
GG: We could tell.  
TG: howd you even get here

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]  
AC: :33< hello feferi!  
CC: O)(!  
CC: )(ello Nepeta!  
CC: )(ow )(ave you been today?  
AC: :33< pretty good!  
CC: T)(at's good!  
CC: W)(y )(ave you dropped by to talk to me?  
AC: :33< oh!  
AC: :33< um  
AC: :33< i was going to tell you  
AC: :33< that  
AC: :33< i think you're cute!  
CC: Really?  
AC: :33< yeah!  
AC: :33< i thought maybe we could go on a date sometime!  
AC: :33< if it's ok with you  
CC: Well...  
CC: I t)(ink you're cute too!  
AC: :33< :33  
CC: And I t)(ink it would be fun for us to go out!  
CC: Tonig)(t?  
AC: :33< how about tomorrow?  
CC: Okay!  
CC: I'm fine wit)( anyt)(ing.  
AC: :33< s33 you later feferi!  
CC: You too Nepeta!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]

arsenicCatnip [AC] logged onto "dream bubble party!"  
AC: :33< hello everyone!  
AC: :33< eridan in particular.  
GG: hi nepeta!  
CA: wwhat  
AC: :33< ahem.  
AC: :33< me and feferi are dating!  
AC: :33< well not yet.  
AC: :33< i mean we haven't gone on a date yet.  
AC: :33< we will tomorrow!  
AA: good for you!  
CA: oh  
CA: good job?  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] logged onto "dream bubble party!"  
CC: )(ey, -Eridan.  
CA: i knoww  
CA: im happy for you  
CC: T)(anks!


End file.
